Letting go of someone you love can feel unbearable when you have an anxious attachment style. This piece explores why letting go feels so difficult, how feelings can hijack decision-making, and why releasing someone is less about waiting to feel ready and more about choosing what truly serves your wellbeing — again and again.

In this post, we explore what's happening when you get caught in anxious spirals and share practical tools to interrupt the pattern in the moment, plus the longer-term work of building self-worth to stop the fires from starting in the first place.

When is a relationship worth fighting for — and when are you just fighting to be chosen? This piece explores the difference between healthy effort and self-abandonment, and how to discern whether staying is helping you grow or slowly eroding your self-trust.

In this post, we explore the crucial differences between boundaries, requests, ultimatums, and deal-breakers—and why understanding these distinctions matters for people with anxious attachment. We'll look at how to communicate limits effectively without falling into controlling behaviour, and why genuine self-advocacy requires more than just saying the right words.

Much of the conversation around dating focuses on warning signs, red flags, and things to watch out for. But orienting towards green flags can shift you away from a threat detection mindset, and ground you in agency whilst remaining hopeful and optimistic. Discover the five green flags that signal a connection is genuinely worth investing in.

Understanding avoidant attachment patterns is crucial for building healthier, more fulfilling relationships. For those with avoidant attachment, certain relationship dynamics can trigger defensiveness and withdrawal, while others can help them feel less guarded and more open to connection. This post explores the six key elements that help people with avoidant attachment patterns feel secure and thrive in relationships.

Anxious–avoidant relationships get a bad reputation.

If you’ve spent any time in attachment spaces, you’ve probably heard some version of:

“Just don’t do it.”
“Find a secure partner.”
“These dynamics are doomed.”

I don’t actually believe that’s the full story.

Yes—anxious–avoidant pairings can be chaotic, painful, and deeply triggering. I’ve lived that reality. But I’ve also built a beautiful, secure relationship with my partner, despite my history of anxious attachment and his history of fearful avoidance. We’ve had all the classic friction points, and we’ve had to work for what we have.

So no, I don’t think these relationships are doomed—but I am very honest about what they require. And it’s not easy.

If an anxious–avoidant relationship is going to go the distance—and become a container for healing rather than harm—there are three essential, non-negotiable ingredients.

Rejection is something most of us instinctively avoid. It can stir up fear, shame, embarrassment, and deep discomfort—and on a very human level, that makes sense. We’re wired to seek connection and belonging, so being rejected can feel threatening to our sense of safety and worth.

If your avoidant partner has started pulling away sexually just as your relationship is deepening, you’re not imagining it—and you’re not alone. In this post, we explore why this dynamic is so common in anxious-avoidant relationships, what’s really going on beneath the surface, and how to approach it in a way that rebuilds connection without pushing your partner further away.

If you keep finding yourself drawn to emotionally unavailable partners, it can feel confusing and deeply frustrating — especially when it’s the opposite of what you say you want. These relationships often involve inconsistency, mixed signals, and a lack of emotional safety, yet they can feel powerfully compelling. In this post, we explore five reasons you may be attracted to emotionally unavailable people, from low self-worth and early attachment experiences to intermittent reinforcement and saviour dynamics.

Sex is one of the most vulnerable forms of intimacy we share – which means our attachment patterns show up very strongly in the bedroom. In this post, I unpack five key ways anxious and avoidant people differ in how they relate to sexual intimacy: from using sex as an emotional barometer, to overthinking vs numbing out, to mismatched desire when the relationship is under stress.

Leaving a toxic relationship should feel like relief — but more often, it leaves you confused, ashamed, and emotionally tangled long after it ends. Even when you know the relationship was unhealthy, you may still find yourself longing for the good moments, replaying the chaos, or questioning why it’s so hard to move on. This post explores why toxic dynamics are uniquely difficult to recover from, especially if you have anxious attachment, and why your brain clings to relationships that hurt you.

Breakups can shake us to our core. While the grief deserves to be honoured, many of the cultural messages we absorb about breakups keep us stuck in comparison, confusion, or false hope. In this post, I share five hard but ultimately liberating truths to help you navigate this season with more clarity, self-respect, and emotional maturity.

For people with anxious attachment, self-soothing can feel impossibly hard — especially during moments of conflict, distance, or emotional uncertainty. When your nervous system is activated, you might spiral into panic, feel powerless to calm yourself, or rely The good news is that self-soothing is absolutely a learnable skill. In this post, we explore why anxious attachers struggle with self-regulation, how early patterns shape your adult responses, and the practical ways you can begin building internal safety.

Wondering what truly attracts avoidant partners—and what pushes them away? Discover the 10 traits avoidantly attached people find most appealing, and the 10 they find most off-putting, to build healthier, more secure relationships.

When you live with anxious or disorganised attachment, it can feel incredibly difficult to tell whether your internal alarms are signalling real intuitive insight or simply anxious activation. In this post, we explore gentle, practical ways to distinguish intuition from anxiety, including how urgency shows up in the body, why your first feeling may be valid even if your interpretation isn’t, and how to honour your anxiety without letting it dictate your behaviour.

Many of us will move through seasons in our relationships where our needs aren’t being met, but for anxiously attached people, this experience can feel especially painful. It’s not just about the unmet need itself — it’s the self-doubt, the collapse in confidence, the fear of being “too much,” or the urge to overcorrect by becoming demanding. This piece explores how to navigate that space with clarity and compassion — from identifying the core need beneath the request, to knowing when flexibility is required, and finally recognising when a partner simply cannot meet you in the ways that matter most.

Wondering how to get an avoidant partner to open up emotionally? The real pathway isn’t pressure or persuasion — it’s safety. In this post, you’ll learn the three essential shifts that help avoidant partners feel secure enough to share more openly, deepen intimacy, and move past their instinct to withdraw.

If you’ve ever found yourself endlessly replaying conversations after a breakup, searching for the missing piece that will make it all make sense—you’re not alone.

Closure is one of the most sought-after (and misunderstood) parts of healing from a relationship. It’s also one of the hardest things to actually get from someone else.

Let’s talk about why that is, and how you can start finding closure from within instead.